Category Archives: Self Care

Self Care for Caregivers

Mental health can be affected by being in stress-inducing situations for a long time. A significant bunch of folks navigating this journey are those who are diligently tending to their loved ones facing health challenges.These could be parents, grandparents, partners or anyone else. When loved ones are going through illnesses that affect their ability to function everyday, the family would need to step up and care for them. Sometimes, there are professionals brought in, but sometimes they may not be able to afford that. In both cases, there are one or a few family members who act as the primary caregivers. With or  without professional help, they are ultimately responsible for the daily welfare of the loved one. 

Being a caregiver is an extremely stressful situation. This stress can affect their physical and mental health. It might not be immediately obvious. But over a prolonged period of time, its effects will begin to show. It is paramount that caregivers take measures to combat this.  It’s crucial for caregivers to proactively establish a regimen of self-care practices. Maintaining their own well-being is key to ensuring they can provide optimal support to their loved ones.

If you are someone who can relate to this, we hope you are able to put in place some of these routines. Otherwise, do look out for anyone in your circles who might be in a situation. Talk to them and see how they are doing, remind them to take care of themselves.

Let’s go over these self-care tips for caregivers.

Set Expectations with Peers

The biggest cause of concern for a caregiver is expectations from outside their family.  Caregivers often grapple with a juggling act – there are work demands, social invites from friends, and family gatherings that come with their own set of expectations. These responsibilities can sometimes feel like they’re squeezing your time and energy. The smart move to alleviate potential stress and anxiety? Open up to your colleagues, friends, and extended family about what’s going on.Most people are understanding enough and would care about their well-being. They would not hold it against them and will be very accommodative. They may even be able to offer help and support. This communication and openness can go a long way.

Prioritize Meals

It is easy to delay or skip meals while prioritizing a loved one. But this will take a toll on the body. Physical and mental energy is needed to be effective care. An important part of self care is to keep meals on track and eat nutritiously. 

Sleep Extra whenever possible

Often, caregivers are woken up at odd hours, tending to their loved ones’ needs in the dead of night. This can happen multiple times in one night, can wreak havoc on their sleep quality, leaving their mental well-being at risk. . They should try to find time and take small naps during the day to recharge.  These moments can coincide with their loved ones’ rest or when there’s a helping hand available to temporarily take over caregiving duties.

Get Things off your Mind

Feeling anxious, distressed or depressed is common among caregivers. Keepng those feelings bottled up can be detrimental to mental health. They need to talk to a partner, trusted friend, relative or anyone, about how they are doing and what they are feeling, to get things off their mind. If you know somebody going through such a situation, make sure to check in with them and make them comfortable to open up when needed. 

Block some Me Time

Caregiving is as much a hustle as anything else. There is a significant risk of burnout, but there might not be any exit options here. Caregivers need to take time out for themselves, to do something they want to. This has to be a priority, to make sure they can keep going on with what they are doing. These moments can coincide with their loved ones’ rest or when there’s a helping hand available to temporarily take over caregiving duties.

Change of Environment

As often as possible, caregivers need a change of environment. It could be something as simple as Stepping outdoors to do something relaxing, away from the environment, to take their mind off the care. How often this can be done depend on the level of care needed and availability of backup. Be it once a week or once everyday, every little bit counts to recharge and refresh.

Credit and Positive Reinforcement

Caregivers, like all of us, need positive reinforcements occasionally to keep themselves going. As hard as it is to believe, they must realize that they are doing  something valuable. With them, their loved ones might not have the same level of care and comfort. It is also up to the people around to provide some of that credit and reinforcement. Being appreciated for what they are doing is the best source of motivation.

If you are a caregiver, please do take the time to focus on self care. While making sacrifices can seem like the right thing to do, taking care of yourself is the best way to ensure you take the best care of your loved ones.

Habits Pt2 – How to maintain habits

In the last article, we talked about how to form habits and a little bit about the science behind them. Well, in this follow-up, let’s dive a bit deeper and talk about how to maintain habits. 

Most of the time, the hardest part in forming a habit is staying consistent. There is often a slow build-up of resistance after the initial high of the habit formation process wears off, which in the end, is what forces us to break routine. Doing the task will start to look like a chore and when that happens, most of us stop doing what we set out to do. This is a very normal and common obstacle that we face while forming habits. So let’s take a look at a few things that might help with tackling this resistance and overall, will help in effectively building habits. 

1.Accessibility – James Clear in his widely talked about book Atomic Habits, talks about how humans are wired to take the path of least resistance. If we think about it, it makes a lot more sense that this would be true and applicable not only to habit formation but to other things in life as well. 

So how do we use this tendency to our advantage while building habits? By making sure that the tools we need to build the habit are extremely accessible. If you are set out to work out every day, keeping your workout gear where you can see them instead of in a place where you’ll need to actively go out of your way to reach for them can do wonders for your motivation. Choose the path to the least resistance.  

2. Discipline over Motivation – Although everyone might encourage us to keep being motivated to incentivize habit formation, motivation, in reality, only will last us for so long. So instead of relying on intrinsic or extrinsic motivation to push you to build the habit, choose to be disciplined. Set a routine for yourself and stick to it. Even on days where you feel the most unmotivated, challenge yourself to do at least a little bit. Being disciplined in the end will also serve as a form of intrinsic motivation that will feed into a positive loop. Here is an article that talks about discipline over motivation in a bit more detail. 

3. Realistic goals – Set a routine for yourself and stick to it is easier said than done. However, we all have to start somewhere in our habit formation journey. The best thing to then do would be to start small. It can get overwhelming to start with a big task and try following it through every day. Setting realistic, small yet attainable goals is key to maintaining a positive feedback loop and keeping ourselves invested in the habit we’re trying to develop. If you’re going to start working out, instead of overwhelming yourself with an hour of working out everyday, start small — a 10minute workout for 5 days a week. By this time, the sense of achievement of having done the workouts will serve as the motivation needed to keep going and challenge yourself. Then you can build upon those 10 minutes and effectively turn working out into a daily habit. Here’s how you can set realistic goals.

4. Build a healthy system – This is very important. Sticking to routines is important but it is more important to listen to your body and mind’s needs. If you just don’t feel your best on certain days, don’t force yourself to push through the discomfort and complete the task you set out for yourself. Try to listen to your body and mind and understand the differences between resistance to doing something and genuinely not being able to. Also, keep in mind that doing one thing a day well is better than feeling overwhelmed with wanting to do 5 things in a single day. A healthy and intuitive system that focuses on holistic well-being will do wonders for your overall growth. An interesting article on time vs energy management to build healthy systems.

5. Patience – Last but not least, be patient and kind to yourself. No growth is ever linear so it is fine if you miss a few days in between or indulge yourself in something else over the habit you’re trying to develop. Do not feel pushed to do anything, instead, look at it as an opportunity to better yourself. Habits take time and are not easy to form or break so take all the time you need with them. 

Whether it be forming new habits or breaking bad ones, it is important to be mindful of both the environmental effects and to your own inner workings. With time, effort and patience there can be no habit impossible to form or break. All the luck to you!

Further reading

[1] Three step habit change – James Clear 

[2] Habit formation 

[3] The science of habits