thelonepack – The LonePack Blog

Stay Paw-sitive!

The best part about being quarantined?

Hundreds of cuddles.

Thousands of slobbery kisses.

Infinite number of ‘Fetch’ games.

In short, lots of precious time you can spend with your fur-babies.

Seriously, let me tell you something; whether you’re irritated about working from home or not, I can guarantee that your furry friends are ecstatic. Because the sad thing is, most of us don’t find enough time to give to our pets. All of us have a 9-5 timetable, and we tend to fall short of the hours, minutes, and seconds of love that you can shower them with. And these are troubled times, which makes it imperative that you spend time with them.

One thing that medical professionals around the world agree upon is that having a pet at home is an incredibly effective stress-buster. This has been proven over and over, with various people, countries, and with different animals. Studies show that people who care for a pet, especially a cat or a dog, at home are less prone to health issues than those who never interact with pets.

Pets are known to reduce stress levels, improve recovery from diseases such as high blood pressure and cardiac disorders, etc. Another benefit of having a pet is that you are constantly motivated to exercise (though this is true only in the case of dogs) which helps you improve your physical health. In fact, studies dating back to the 1980s also show that interaction with animals on a regular basis decreases your stress levels and improves your focus and concentration skills.

Children who are exposed to animal interaction from an early age are also observed to gain significant social skills. In fact, a research article published in ‘Anthrozoos: A Multidisciplinary Journal of The Interactions of People & Animals’, back in 2011, also says this:

‘Human–animal interaction (HAI) has been shown to have positive effects on health. Owning a pet is associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure during basal and stressed conditions and well-being in humans..In addition, anxiety decreases in the presence of a dog and children having a dog present in their classroom display increased social competence.’

This is because many pets, dogs in particular, are highly attuned to human moods and behavior. Dogs in general are attuned to human commands and are very responsive to their humans’ low moods. It is attested to by many that a good snuggle with their pet at the end of a bad day can relieve their stress and anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just Pomeranians, Maine Coons and other well-bred dogs and cats who can help you improve your health. Any homeless fur-baby, even a stray, that you pick up from the local shelter is capable of providing the same amount of love.

It is significant to note that the beneficial effects of owning a pet is generally agreed upon by even those in the administration/ government.This is why governments all over the world recommend animal-interventional therapy to war veterans and those in the army. Post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, Alzheimer’s, or obesity, you name it, they can help you get out of it.

So, the next time you come across a stray or have an opportunity to care for your friend’s pet, take pleasure in knowing that through this interaction there is a mutual benefit. And, if you’re more of a go-getter, volunteer at a pet shelter, foster a pet till it finds a forever home or bring home a bundle of furry joy. For, no matter if they are slobbery, aloof, hoofed or horned, we need our animal friends more than they need us.

Team LonePack wishes you health, companionship and lifelong friendship!

One,Two and Three – A 3 step process to reboot your mind

If you want to change your actions, you have to change your thoughts. If you want to change your thoughts, then you have to change the way you perceive yourself. If you want to change your perception about yourself, you must change the experience.

Yes, an experience with your true self.

Often, we approach fixing problems like developing an algorithm. An algorithm has a few major components – the inputs, the processing logic/storage and the output. Quite frankly, that is analogous to how our mind works. It observes the actions, words and emotions of others in our environment, stores it in the database called the subconscious and we somehow adapt to these actions, thoughts, emotions without even realizing we are doing it.

But, often what we consider self-awareness is more of what we are NOT than what we really are. We tell ourselves things based on comparison with other people. After every task you complete, your mind automatically compares the same kind of task done by someone else in a different manner, hence implying you didn’t do your best.

This never ending fight with your self-image, leaves no room for growth.

The reality is the polar opposite of what we tell ourselves. No matter how disgusting our delusions are, how negative we think of ourselves, how we judge ourselves, we are human. We have infinite potential, to pause, refresh, and resume. The three step process.

Every single time a notification pings in your mind that reads ‘ YOU CAN’T DO THIS ‘ , PAUSE.

Instead of berating yourself that you cannot do it, switch to ” I DEFINITELY CAN DO THIS GREAT” condition yourself to the opposite of what your irrational thoughts are telling you. Thus, you are refreshing your negative self-talk.

Finally, resume doing whatever you were doing with a bit more self-compassion, and a lot of love.

Constantly feeling the need to do something, to be occupied with work is the fear driven trap, sometimes based on experiences of previous trauma. Our mind uses it as an escape mechanism to avoid dealing with inconvenient emotions.

Let’s do this affirmation, pause for a moment. And think of this beautiful word that the internet came up with, called “Sonder”. It’s not an actual word in the English dictionary, though “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows”, the website that created it, defines it as the realization that each random passer-by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

We share our world with 7.7 billion others like that. People lose their loved ones, their dream, their homes, sometimes themselves and yet wake up the next morning and hustle. Some grieve about it for days and heal in isolation, Some grieve by destroying things, while some heal by creating new.

Each of us are finding ways to be happier, to seize the moment as it is, to love, to be loved.

We’re all so strong, even on the days when we feel like choking on sadness,

On the days we feel heavy, on the days we feel the void inside us, on the days we don’t feel like moving.

Why? Because we find a way – we keep going. No matter how many times we’ve told ourselves to give up. In reality we don’t really lose, we don’t really fail, we don’t actually give up.

We’re always told we will be where we want to be with whom we’re meant to be. But we are there right now, where we belong.

It warms my heart to know, to be around each and every one of you. You are so strong and you don’t even know that yet. Also, did I tell you that you did your best this week?

And it’s okay even if you do 0.001% more the upcoming week.

– Haniya Ahmed

Build the wall – Why emotional boundaries matter

I read this quote the other day by Paul Ferrini. It goes

“Those who have the greatest need to tell others what to do have the least faith in themselves”

Emotional distance is important even if it may seem difficult

Okay, story time. My grandmother is a 74 year old woman. A very fascinating story about a human who does not hold any triumphs or trophies to her name but managed to achieve a lot. Her father died the same year she was born in a fire accident. Losing her husband to this tragedy had made her mother reckless, helpless and left with no purpose to live but for her daughter, and for the child inside of her. She then gave birth to another beautiful child, my grandmother’s younger sister.

She had gone through the loss of her husband and was widowed with two daughters. One night she left the child unattended in the cradle. The next morning she woke up to see her infant dead. Drowned in self blame and guilt she decided to end her life as an act of balancing the death of her child. Left alone was my one year old grandmother.

She was married to my grandfather when she was 14. Sixty years, 5 children and 8 grandchildren later she still longs for the love of her mother. She says it crushes her heart to not be able to remember how her father looked like, how soulful her mother sounded like. She grew up listening to stories about them from her grandparents.But one thing that astonishes me the most is her devotion towards family. Yes, I said devotion.

Solitude in childhood can shape our thoughts later in life. Picture Courtesy: “Then they rise” – Spirit Fire Art

Growing up with nothing, the idea of having someone to call family means the world to her. Her mind is wired in such a way that she thinks she owes the people who do the smallest gesture such as helping her cross the road. She remembers the most microscopic details of her encounters with every person she ever met. Somehow, she has lived 74 years of her life constantly thinking about whom to fix it for next. The ‘fixer’ in her forced her to believe that the sole purpose of her life was to make the lives of her loved ones, strangers who impacted in the slightest way too, easier. And somehow she forgot to live for herself. Overcoming a loss or post trauma, your subconscious builds a pattern that convinces you to interfere and repair it for others.

When you try to fix someone, even with the noblest of intentions it is very significant for you to realise that you serve as a block in their growth and learning process. Hurdles in life are nothing but lessons in disguise.

Stop projecting your fears onto the people you try ‘helping’. This calls for a reality check on your behavioural patterns. Your inability to face your fears,acknowledging your coping mechanisms, channelising them into productivity forces you to find an alternative way of dealing with things, by doing it for others.

The aftermath of mental illness, creates an undeniable pressure to try and save anyone else who is going through the same.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB.

Initially, the guilt takes a toll on you but isn’t that the beginning of self love? Being able to say NO. Being able to establish emotional boundaries is the first step of healing.

Protect your mental well being.

Respect their individuality,because we are all grown ups who can make choices that benefit us the most. As strange as it may seem, it is necessary for us to accept their decision.

The outcome of healing is not “ I don’t feel negative anymore” is not the end result of healing. It is “This negativity does not determine my self worth”

– Haniya Ahmed